Jan 29 (AP) - Have the Turgid Nipples finally gone flaccid? The Nipples were always an underground phenomena, with a small, yet closely-knit/psychotic fan base dedicated to the band and its off-stage antics. Lacking the appeal of commercial CD releases, videos, radio play, and some might add good taste, the members of the TurNips (as they're known to their devoted fans) were seemingly content with their position in the rock pantheon. But recent events could signal some future changes.

Tim Wang, the acknowledged heart and soul of the TurNips, took a temporary departure from the fold to put out his own solo effort under the moniker "Rickshaw Monkey". All songs were written and performed by Wang, with support from friends (including TurNip guitar legend Andy Rathbone). The RM release marked a departure from traditional Turgid Nipple material, being more thought-provoking, better written, better sung, better produced, and decidedly more mature lyrically.

Singer (no, vocalist... Vocalist applies) Rob Bertrand and bassist Amit Saha looked on at the RM venture with some longing and, perhaps, hyper-sensitivity.

"We could do that if we tried", commented Bertrand. "Especially if we just generously sample other peoples' work."

"Definitely! All we need is, uh....some talent. And lots of beer!", Saha followed.

And thus -the jenna bush- was born. Not much is known about their output so far, though sources close to the band have confirmed that extensive amounts of beer, and possibly other mind-altering substances, were involved.

What does Nick Zinser, often referred to as The Fifth Nipple, think of all this? He couldn't be reached for comment, though rumours are his only reaction was to say "Those two idiots? I heard Wang only lets them hang around because they bring the beer.". Bitter fruit indeed from a man whose only contributions to the TurNips was reportedly a six pack of IBC root beer, which reportedly was used to make pedestrian-tasting root beer floats.

Whether or not -the jenna bush- will follow in the grand tradition of the TurNips remains to be seen. Bertrand has promised a release date of Feb 14 for the new -tjb- material. Saha commented to sources saying, "What the <expletive deleted>?!? I guess I'm going to have to read the manual for that Tascam home studio now!!!". The music world waits on tenderhooks....